If you’re looking for a way to keep warm this winter, that may be a little naughty, then why don’t you check out the penis-shaped hot water bottle which is available at Firebox.
The ‘Penis Hot Water Bottle’ will keep you nice and snug even in the coldest of temperatures, thanks to the warmth radiating through your not so floppy little friend.
Arriving at your door in a salmon pink colour, the hot water bottle is 60cm in height, 39.6cm in width and 3.8cm in diameter.
The Firebox’s description of the ‘Penis Hot Water Bottle’ says: “Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures.
“He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot d***.
“He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
“Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems…”
Not only does the penis-shaped hot water bottle keep you nice and cosy, but it also helps with period cramps (ironically), and it makes up for not having a hunk of a man sleeping next to you – as long as you’re not put off by the coy smile on its face.
Firebox even recommends that it makes a great add on to spooning, and even for tucking down your pants to experience having your own “obscenely large, hot d***”.
According to the reviews, this small package certainly delivers. One review says: “What’s not to love – it’s a hot water bottle shaped like a penis and guaranteed to bring a smile to your face on a very cold night!”
Another added: “Good size was bigger than expected.”
If you already have a hot water bottle that you’re pretty loyal to, why don’t you check out Firebox’s Pierre the four-foot penis-shaped pillow? It makes the perfect addition to those lonely nights.
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