You can now grab a four-foot penis-shaped pillow, named Pierre , which is on sale at gift retailer Firebox – the perfect addition to those lonely nights.
Online gifting retailer Firebox is selling a four-foot penis-shaped pillow that is strangely adorably cuddly. The plump four-foot-tall penis even has a name to give it that extra touch of personality, Pierre.
Just in case you were thinking… “but wait, I already have a pretty large Pierre cushion on my bed right now”, you’re right – this isn’t an entirely new product. The launch of the supersized cushion Pierre comes after the success of Pierre’s predecessors: regular Pierre, giant Pierre, and even the world’s smallest Pierre.
The best thing about this latest edition to the collection (apart from being absolutely massive), is that the pillow comes with a rosy-cheeked smile (which could be classed as disturbing based on your perspective) and can even stand nearly as high as you – if you’re petite that is.
According to the Firebox team, a gift that revolves around penises is being bought every 1 hour and 45 minutes. So, of course, Firebox had to jump in on the bandwagon by supplying those in demand with some cuddly penis cushions. After all, maybe we’ve all been subconsciously looking at our pillows and wishing it had that little something extra.
Firebox’s website description says: “You weren’t satisfied with regular Pierre. Even Giant Pierre wasn’t enough. And it’s not even worth mentioning the World’s, Smallest Pierre. You like it large, we get that. So we’ve supersized everyone’s favourite adorable penis just to suit you.
“Only he’s not so adorable anymore. Don’t worry, he’s still got his cute little face, just on a much much bigger appendage. He must have been flaccid before because now he’s four feet of pure magnificent shaft.
“Quite possibly the biggest dick in the world, jumbo Pierre will keep you warm on long lonely nights for as long as you need him.”
This unusual four-foot pillow will set you back £39.99 so it doesn’t come cheap. However, Pierre’s little buddy (and the world’s smallest Pierre) comes for a tiny £5.99. It may be small but it does have its advantages, making the perfect stress ball with its bouncing wobbliness. Best of all, the little fella can even come gift-wrapped for that special someone.
Head of Buying at Firebox, Ben Redhead, made a statement about their unusual selection of gifts: “Firebox has a total of six penis-related gifts in its Top 100 products this year, averaging one bought every 1 hour and 45 minutes.
“Following on from this trend for all things phallic, we’re hoping to satisfy the customer’s appetite for Pierre once and for all with this brand new giant version!”
The online retailer has a wide array of eccentric and fun gifts to give your family and friends such as personalised pet cushions and light up unicorn slippers, which might suit the little more tamed. For the more serious, try looking at the giant sloth teddy available at Morrisons.
Do you have a story for us? If so, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. All contact will be treated in confidence.