A bride has triggered a debate after telling her non-binary sibling that they can wear a dress or suit to the wedding.
The bride-to-be’s special day is coming up in less than two months, but her sibling says they won’t know what to wear until the day, which has left the woman feeling frustrated as she doesn’t want to buy two outfits.
Taking to Reddit, she wrote: “Sometimes they dress feminine, sometimes masculine and others in-between the two. I asked if they still wanted to be a bridesmaid and they said they’d rather be a bridesperson which obviously is not a problem.
“I asked them if they would be wearing a dress, suit or something else smart but the same colour as my friends’ dresses. They said they weren’t sure and they would get back to me.”
The bride then stressed that she’s on a tight ‘budget’ but still wants to make sure everyone has something to wear.
She continued: “I only asked three bridesmaids as the wedding is on a budget but I still wanted to pay for their dresses. Now it’s two months until the wedding and they still haven’t decided what they want to wear. I asked today if they had decided because I really have to order the bridesmaid dresses ASAP even though they are premade in the shop as they still need adjustments
“I said I’m still buying the dress, suit or whatever else they want to wear but I need to know what it will be. My sibling is insisting they won’t know until the day whether they want to dress more feminine; a dress, or more masculine; a suit, so I should buy both and I can return whatever one they don’t wear.”
To make things more complicated, the store that the bride wants to purchase the clothes from refuses to accept returns once alterations have been made, which means she’d have to purchase two non-refundable outfits.
The bride stressed: “My sibling thinks I’m being a bridezilla over this because I won’t buy both. I reminded them they can wear something else that is smart and we can even go shopping together for it but they want either a dress or suit.
“I’m starting to wonder if I’m being an a**hole because I know it can’t be easy for them not knowing how they’ll feel on the day and I don’t want to force them to wear something they aren’t comfortable with but I need to know one way or the other what’s happening.”
Although many said that the bride-to-be wasn’t being unreasonable for wanting to save money, quite a few Reddit users said she would have to reach a compromise.
One person suggested: “Would it be possible to compromise? Where I live, it is pretty typical for the bridal party to pay for their own dress or tux rental. I’ve known some couples who paid for the clothes for their wedding party, but that isn’t always the case. So I’m wondering what if you offered to them that they can pay for one and you pay for the other?”
Another added: “Perhaps discuss paying for one outfit and they pay for the other.”
However, some went as far as to say the sibling should be ‘demoted’ to a wedding guest.
“Personally I’d demote the sibling to a guest. It is unrealistic to expect you to buy them two separate outfits, so they can decide the DAY OF YOUR WEDDING, what they want to wear,” one user commented.
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