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Demi Lovato Explains Why She Changed Her Pronouns From They/Them To She/Her
Demi Lovato has opened up about her decision to shift her pronouns from they/them back to she/her.
The 32-year-old performer first rose to fame after starring in the popular 2008 Disney movie Camp Rock and its follow-up Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam, released in 2010.
Alongside her acting work, she has built a thriving music career, moving an estimated 24 million records across the United States.
Throughout her time in the spotlight, Lovato has maintained a high level of transparency with her audience regarding her sexuality and gender identity.
A proud declaration of non-binary identity
The Heart Attack singer used Instagram in 2021 to announce her non-binary identity to the public.
“Today is a day I’m so happy to share more of my life with you all – I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward,” the pop star declared.
“This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.”
During an episode of Fire Drill Friday, Lovato spoke with actress Jane Fonda about how her early life shaped her relationship with gender.
She remarked to the host: “Growing up in Dallas, Texas, in the South, being Christian, there were a lot of norms that were already pushed on to me when it came to suality and gender.
“And I’m a very fluid person, I’m a very free-spirited, open person.”
Reflecting on her childhood in the South, the Sorry Not Sorry artist noted that the environment was “not very open,” which made her early years “very confusing.”
In recent years, however, Lovato has grown far more at ease discussing these aspects of her life, noting during a YouTube Pride event that she felt “grateful” for the way her family members were “using my pronouns.”
Exploring gender non-conformity and finding chosen family
Lovato previously shared with her audience that adjusting her pronouns was a natural part of her personal growth and self-discovery.
Speaking on the Audacy Check-In music podcast, the Cool for the Summer singer explained: “Since I’ve learned about gender identity more and learning about being non-binary or gender non-conforming, I’ve used this time to really explore what feels right to me.
“And after a year and a half of exploration, I realized it was time to let the world know that it feels weird to me when I get called a ‘she’ or a ‘her.’
“I understand that people might have a hard time adjusting to it because it is something new, but I want to encourage people to keep trying and that I understand that it’s a process to get used to.”
She even confessed on the podcast that she occasionally will ‘mess up’ when it comes to utilizing pronouns.
In the same interview, Lovato highlighted the deep connections she has formed with individuals inside the LGBTQIA+ community.
“I used to identify family as blood-related, and now my queer family has become more family than friends,” she said.
“And I feel like I now have two families. I have my blood relatives and then I have my queer family, and that family to me is the chosen family.”
Finding authenticity after a broken engagement
Roughly a year prior to sharing her non-binary identity with the world, Lovato ended her engagement to actor and singer Max Ehrich.
She later explained to Glamour that she viewed the end of the relationship as an unexpected blessing.
She remarked to the magazine: “When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am. This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, ‘This is a huge sign.’
“I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”
Elaborating on this transition during the 19th Represents Summit, Lovato stated: “And when I said goodbye to that relationship, I also said goodbye to everything that was holding me back from being my most authentic self.”
At that stage, the pop artist admitted she was uncertain about where her personal exploration would ultimately lead.
“There might be a time where I identify as trans. I don’t know what this looks like for me. There might be a time where I identify as non-binary and gender-nonconforming my entire life,” she explained.
“Or maybe there’s a period of time when I get older that I identify as a woman, I don’t know what that looks like, but for me, in this moment right now, this is how I identify.”
In May 2025, Lovato married Canadian musician and songwriter Jordan ‘Jutes’ Lutes, after becoming engaged in December 2023.
The reason behind her return to traditional pronouns
As time progressed, Lovato found herself becoming increasingly comfortable with the use of she/her pronouns once again.
Sitting down for an interview on the Sprout Podcast, the Skyscraper musician detailed her evolving perspective: “I’ve actually adopted the pronouns of ‘she/her’ again.
“Especially last year, my energy was balanced in my masculine and feminine energy so that when I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said ‘women’ and ‘men.’
“I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man. I just felt like a human.”
Lovato noted that she had recently been ‘feeling more feminine,’ which prompted the shift.
“But I think what’s important is, like, nobody’s perfect,” she stated as a final thought. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning. It’s just all about respect.”
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