Aimee Walker
Phillip Schofield says he has ‘lost everything’ and asks ‘do you want me to die’ following news of his affair.
Schofield, 61, presented This Morning for over 20 years and then made a bombshell announcement that he would be leaving the show ‘with immediate effect’.
Soon after, the ex-Dancing On Ice host admitted that he had previously been involved with a ‘much younger’ colleague on This Morning.
Following the confession, Schofield was dropped from numerous brand deals and it now appears as though his career has been left in tatters.
Addressing this, the former The Cube presenter has finally spoken out.
Watch Kerry Katona blast ITV in the Phillip Schofield aftermath below…
In an interview with the BBC, Schofield says he fears his ‘career is over’ and that he has ‘lost everything’.
He tells the broadcaster (via The Telegraph): “I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart. I have lost everything.
“What am I going to do with my days? I see nothing ahead of me but blackness, and sadness, and regret, and remorse, and guilt.
“I did something very wrong, and then I lied about it consistently.”
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Schofield goes on to say that he now understands how former Love Island presenter Caroline Flack felt before she tragically took her own life.
He continues: “It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day.
“If you don’t think that that is going to have the most catastrophic effect on someone’s mind… do want me to die? Because that’s where I am. I have lost everything.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Schofield addresses his affair with the ‘much younger’ colleague.
Although he admits the relationship was a ‘grave error’, the ex-This Morning host insists the pair were ‘not boyfriends’ and engaged in romantic encounters just half a dozen times.
Schofield claims that his former colleague was 20 years old when they first began any sort of s**ual contact and that he blames himself for the affair – even though it was ‘consensual’.
“He is an innocent party here. I was older, I should have known better. [The affair] was consensual, but it was my fault,” he states.
The 61-year-old then adds that he has been experiencing suicidal thoughts, which his daughters have been helping him fight through.
He explains: “Last week if my daughters hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t be here. They’ve been by my side every moment because they’re scared to let me out of their sight.”
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Schofield goes on to say that he believes homophobia has played a huge part in why there’s been such a huge backlash.
He insists: “If it was male-female then it wouldn’t be such a scandal.”
The presenter then confirms that his former co-host, Holly Willoughby, ‘did not know’ about the affair and to his knowledge, ‘nobody knew’.
Schofield explains: “Our makeup room was a sanctuary so you tell everything in that room.
“Holly knows everything about me, I know everything about Holly. Holly did not know, nobody knew. I didn’t tell anybody.”
Schofield also addresses reports that he made the man sign a non-disclosure agreement.
He says he ‘absolutely did not’ make the man do this and that if he had wanted to, the man could have spoken to the media.
Schofield also says that he did not pay the former colleague off over the affair. However, he is paying for his ongoing legal support.
The presenter is then asked why all this information about the relationship is only just coming out if there hadn’t been an NDA or injunction to prevent the press from ever reporting on their affair.
Schofield responds: “It got too big. The lie got too big for both of us, it just got enormous. It was growing and growing and growing and it crossed over from online to mainstream news.”
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