Credit: @erikatham/TikTok/Adobe Stock
‘The Penny Method’ Is A Disturbing New Dating Trend Worse Than Ghosting
A TikToker has sparked widespread discussion after exposing a troubling dating tactic known as the ‘penny method.’
Modern dating seems to come with an endless list of frustrating trends, from ‘dexting’ to ‘zombie-ing.’
But this latest phenomenon may be one of the most unsettling yet, with some people saying it’s enough to make them swear off dating altogether.
A viral TikTok exposes the ‘penny method’
TikTok creator Erika Tham recently brought attention to the alleged dating strategy, warning viewers about what she described as a highly manipulative approach.
She captioned her now-viral video: “You learn something new every day,” alongside several upside-down smiley face emojis.
After hearing about the so-called ‘penny method,’ many users were quick to share their reactions.
One viewer wrote: “My honorable sisters this is narcissism.”
“Nah, that’s psychopath maths,” another weighed in.
A third TikToker commented: “You can’t convince me this isn’t psychological torture.”
“Whatever happened to genuinely liking someone and wanting to spend time with them without games or lies?” somebody else questioned.
Meanwhile, another person joked: “Never leaving my house again.”
How the dating tactic supposedly works
In her viral video, Tham explained that she first learned about the ‘penny method’ from a male friend.
She said: “Imagine a girl is a piggy bank. In order to get her interested, obviously at first you have to be feeding her $100 bills.
“But putting in $100 bills is a lot of work. And you don’t always wanna be doing that, so eventually you decrease it to $90.”
According to Tham, the woman would likely recognize the drop in effort but might hesitate to mention it out of fear of seeming unreasonable.
Why people are calling it manipulative
Tham then described what she says is the most troubling part of the strategy.
She continued: “Now here’s where it gets sick. The next thing you do is, bump it back up to $95.
“Now instead of feeling like she lost $5, which is how she would feel if you went directly from $100 to $95, suddenly she feels like she’s gained $5.
“But you are still putting in 5% less effort. Basically, you just keep repeating the cycle and weaning her off your effort until you get to the point where you’re giving her pennies, and she’s excited to receive a nickel.”
Wrapping up the clip, Tham shared her concerns about the mindset behind the concept.
“This idea that men might actually think like this makes me so afraid.
“Like is this boy math? Because I don’t like it. Anyway, be safe out there, ladies. I think the takeaway message in all of this is that we should never be accepting anything less than $100 bills.”
Erika Tham explains why she shared the warning
Following the video’s viral success, Tham spoke with BuzzFeed about the friend who first introduced her to the concept.
“He admitted to doing it in the past, but he now realizes it’s wrong,” she told the outlet. “He said he definitely knows guys who do it and also knows guys who do it but aren’t aware that what they’re doing has a name.”
Tham explained that her goal in sharing the video was to help women who may feel confused or manipulated while dating.
“It’s the type of thing that can make you question whether your gut feeling is correct, or if you’re just overthinking,” she added.
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