Cal Gaunt
An undertaker says ‘scaphism’ is the worst way you could possibly die.
Thinking about death isn’t exactly a go-to topic for casual chitchat, but sometimes it helps to keep things real and grounded.
So, when most of us picture our grand exit from life, we envision a peaceful slumber.
According to mortician Caitlin Doughty, an expert in the field of death, ancient civilisations had some downright brutal ways of doing folks in.
Now hold onto your hats, because this one is seriously grim…
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In a Q&A session on her YouTube channel Ask a Mortician, Doughty delved into the concept of the ‘worst’ ways to die.
And believe us, this is some pretty heavy stuff.
The bad ones tend to be tragedies, unexpected things like homicides or horrifying accidents.
And for the loved ones left behind, it’s gut-wrenching when the body is never found, and they can’t perform proper funeral rituals.
Saying that, there’s also another contender for the darkest execution ever.
Enter Richard Roose, who had a date with doom in 1531 for supposedly trying to poison the Bishop of Rochester, John Fisher.
Under King Henry VIII’s ruling, poisoning was considered treason, and the punishment was just as brutal as you can imagine.
They’d drag the poor soul through the streets, hang them, chop off their manhood, and gut them like a fish.
But for Roose, things took a horrifying turn.
He was boiled alive in a massive cauldron of scalding water at Smithfield in London.
It’s enough to make you shudder just thinking about it – but according to Doughty, an ancient Persian method called ‘scaphing’ is the worst way to go.
Just the name sounds eerie, and it’s even worse than you can imagine.
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Here’s the deal. Your executioners would strip your body naked and stuff you between two hollowed-out logs with your head and limbs sticking out.
Then, they’d drench you in honey and force-feed you more of that sweet sticky stuff, attracting insects like there’s no tomorrow.
They’d then leave you in a stagnant pond to be slowly eaten alive.
The torture doesn’t stop there; they’d keep coming back to give you more milk and honey so you wouldn’t kick the bucket right away.
Eventually, you’d succumb to exposure, dehydration, shock, and delirium. Now that is a gruesome way to go.
So, next time you’re feeling a bit down, just remember, life might have its tough moments, but at least you’re not facing an ancient Persian scaphing or a boiling cauldron…
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