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‘The Penny Method’ Is A Disturbing New Dating Trend That’s Worse Than Ghosting

A TikToker has gone viral after warning others about a disturbing new dating trend dubbed 'the penny method.'
Credit: @erikatham/TikTok & Alamy

A TikToker has gone viral after warning others about a disturbing new dating trend dubbed ‘the penny method.’

When it comes to dating, it seems there are tons of awful trends to look out for, from ‘dexting‘ to ‘zombie-ing.’

Yet the latest may be the worst of them all, leaving many people considering giving up dating entirely…

@erikatham
‘The penny method’ is a disturbing new dating trend that is making people want to give up dating. Credit: @erikatham/TikTok

Erika Tham brought the ‘trend’ to TikTok’s attention, warning others of the manipulative tactic.

She captioned the viral video: “You learn something new every day,” alongside multiple upside-down smiley emojis.

After learning what ‘the penny method’ entails, one person responded: “My honorable sisters this is narcissism.”

“Nah, that’s psychopath maths,” another weighed in.

A third TikToker commented: “You can’t convince me this isn’t psychological torture.”

“Whatever happened to genuinely liking someone and wanting to spend time with them without games or lies?” somebody else questioned.

While a fifth vowed: “Never leaving my house again.”

@erikatham
Erika Tham’s video on ‘the penny method’ has gone viral. Credit: @erikatham/TikTok

In the TikTok clip, Tham revealed ‘the penny method’ was brought to her attention by a guy friend.

She began: “Imagine a girl is a piggy bank. In order to get her interested, obviously at first you have to be feeding her $100 bills.

“But putting in $100 bills is a lot of work. And you don’t always wanna be doing that, so eventually you decrease it to $90.”

Tham explained that the girl would notice the ‘decrease in effort’ but would worry she’d sound ‘crazy’ if she were to point it out.

Man holding bunch of cents.
‘The penny method’ has been compared to ‘psychological torture.’ Credit: Adobe Stock

The TikToker continued: “Now here’s where it gets sick. The next thing you do is, bump it back up to $95.

“Now instead of feeling like she lost $5, which is how she would feel if you went directly from $100 to $95, suddenly she feels like she’s gained $5.

“But you are still putting in 5% less effort. Basically, you just keep repeating the cycle and weaning her off your effort until you get to the point where you’re giving her pennies, and she’s excited to receive a nickel.”

Concluding the video, Tham said: “This idea that men might actually think like this makes me so afraid.

“Like is this boy math? Because I don’t like it. Anyway, be safe out there, ladies. I think the takeaway message in all of this is that we should never be accepting anything less than $100 bills.”

@erikatham
Erika Tham is warning other women to watch out for the ‘trend.’ Credit: @erikatham/TikTok

Since Tham’s video has gone viral on TikTok, she’s spoken to BuzzFeed and discussed the ‘friend’ who explained ‘the penny method’ to her.

He admitted to doing it in the past, but he now realizes it’s wrong,” she told the outlet. “He said he definitely knows guys who do it and also knows guys who do it but aren’t aware that what they’re doing has a name.”

The TikToker said she decided to make the video to help other women who feel gaslit by their dates, adding: “It’s the type of thing that can make you question whether your gut feeling is correct, or if you’re just overthinking.”

@erikatham you learn something new everyday 🙃🙃🙃 #lovebombing #dating #boymath ♬ original sound – erikatham

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Written by Annie Walton Doyle

Annie Walton Doyle is a content editor at IGV who specializes in trending, lifestyle, and entertainment news. She graduated from Goldsmiths, University of London, with a degree in English Literature. Annie has previously worked with organizations such as The Huffington Post, The Guardian, The Telegraph, Harvard University, the Pulitzer Prize, and 22 Words.