Cal Gaunt
Getting ‘zombied’ is a new dating trend that people are saying is worse than ‘ghosting’.
‘Ghosting’ is a dating term that refers to when a person suddenly cuts off all communication with someone they were dating or interested in without any explanation or warning.
The term is often used when the person being ignored reaches out to the other person multiple times but receives no response – which can be pretty confusing and upsetting.
But if you thought that was bad, a new TikTok trend has revealed that there’s something called ‘zombieing’, which is actually even worse.
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Singer-songwriter Mariel Darling shares her experience of this nasty trend in a viral video on the platform, where she explains that it’s similar to ghosting, but even more brutal.
So, what is it?
Well, ‘zombieing’ is when the person comes back after a few months of ghosting and hits you up again.
In a follow-up, Darling compares dating in New York City to a zombie apocalypse ‘mixed with the ‘Thriller’ music video, where boys tap dance around commitment’.
Her original clip has been viewed more than 1.8 million times with over 150,000 comments.
The comments section of Darling’s video is filled with people sharing their own ‘zombie’ experiences.
One writes: “Have you ever noticed that they all zombie you at the same time? Like why are four guys from my past all hitting me up on the same day?”
“Mine has a Jesus Christ complex, he comes back every 3 days,” jokes another.
A third says: “It’s because the girl he thought was better than you realised he’s terrible and ghosted him!”
Another person comments: “I saw someone say she puts gravestone emojis on their name in contacts so she knows not to deal with them anymore.”
“Tell me why this happened to me three times in the last three weeks,” someone shares.
Someone else adds: “Try being zombied by a guy named zombie. I didn’t know he was just living up to his potential.”
“I think I’m being zombied. One day he ignores me, one day he looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and texts me till 3am,” another user admits.
According to dating expert Samantha Jayne, ‘zombieing’ has been around as long as relationships have been, and some people use it strategically.
She tells News.com.au: “It can be extremely damaging and confusing.
“It impacts self-confidence and leaves someone feeling anxious about abandonment, then when that person reappears can give a sense of hope and a painful reminder of the random departure.”
@mariel_darling who else has been ✨zombied✨ #dating #relationship #situationship #talkingphase #ghosting #ghosted #toxic #commitment #love #relatable #boys #commitmentissues #girls #bf #single #relationshipadvice ♬ Love You So – The King Khan & BBQ Show
She adds: “When an old flame you are over returns out of the blue without an explanation and expects things to be normal, it is cruel and can leave you feeling bewildered.”
Jayne explains that this person is taking ‘no accountability’ and will just ‘expect things to be back to normal’.
Apparently, the two main reasons people ‘zombieing’ are that they’re either bad at communication and don’t know how to end things, or they’re using the tactic maliciously.
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For poor communicators, time eventually passes, and they try to reconnect since they ghosted the person due to their own anxieties and insecurities.
The malicious type of zombie returns because they have run out of options and know that the person they’re zombifying is a sure thing to massage their egos until they find the next one.
Jayne advises being mindful in deciding whether to delete their message, ignore it, or ask for an explanation.
@mariel_darling Replying to @kelseyandcali zombie apocalypse = nyc dating #dating #relationship #situationship #talkingphase #ghosting #ghosted #toxic #commitment #love #nyc #relatable #boys #commitmentissues #girls #bf #single #relationshipadvice #nycdating #datinglife ♬ Love You So – The King Khan & BBQ Show
The main difference between the two types of zombies is that the one who was a poor communicator, anxious, and overthinking will come with an explanation and often an apology.
On the other hand, the malicious type will simply have the mindset of, ‘Hey, lucky you, I’ve reappeared. Let’s have fun!’.
Jayne says that it’s crucial to remember that the person on the other end is the one with the power.
She insists that you can decide to have a voice by using the opportunity to say something with a short message – that sends a really strong message.
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